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Safe spaces

  • Posted on March 29, 2009 at 6:58 pm

I’ve been thinking a lot about safe spaces. And I can’t help thinking about my experience at Folsom St. Fair this year. 

The fair itself felt like an amazingly safe space. Sure, there was lots of skin even to the point of completely naked people walking around on leashes. In the midst of all this obvious sexuality and exhibitionism the most common thing I overheard was people asking for permission to touch, or even take pictures. 

This is so different than most places. In many places the assumption is that touch is welcome unless it is explicitly negated. At Folsom, the assumption is that touch is unwelcome unless it’s explicitly permitted. 

In fact, walking down Market street in my new corset was much braver than getting into the corset at the fair. At the fair, I was just another person on exhibit. But I was secure that no one would touch, without my (or Cam’s) permission. On Market, no one would touch but the looks were … different. I was very grateful for a protective male next to me.

“Is she yours?”

  • Posted on October 23, 2008 at 7:47 pm

After my trip to the Dark Garden tent, and purchase of a stunning corset, we continued wandering. I was feeling good. Really good. Sexy even.

The corset is stunning and one person wanted to look at it closer. At first she started to ask me if she could look at it, then stopped herself, turned to Cam and said, “Is she yours, can I touch her.” He, to his credit, didn’t try to explain the intricacies of our relationship, mentioned he owned me as much as I owned him and then granted permission for me to be examined.

The past few weeks the phrase “is she yours?” keeps running through my head with lots of warm fuzzies attached to it.

Buying my first corset

  • Posted on October 4, 2008 at 8:27 pm

I’ve been window shopping for a corset for quite a while. I’ve not tried any on, mostly due to some body issues and … stuff. The last time we went to Folsom, I saw women trying on corsets in one tent but didn’t have the nerve to try one on.

Fast forward to this year’s fair. We decide we’re going and I start thinking about the corset shop and the chance of getting something. I mention the possibility to Cam of trying on corsets and maybe getting one. He just said, “wear a clean bra.” He’s so supportive!

Sunday morning, I did wear a clean bra, and a white tank top with a jacket. I have this very loud, brightly colored jacket. I also wore my new bright red jeans. We got to the fair around 11:30, and started walking through. We looked at kilts for Cam (mmm…) and just wandered through seeing what was there. We passed the Dark Garden tent. One of the sales women asked me if I wanted to try one on and I said yes. Go me.

She asked if I wanted and over or under bust and I said I’d try both. She sized me in both and then brought out the 3 over bust corsets they had in my size. Two were black, one in with gold embroidered butterflies, and one was Chinese red silk. I had to try that one.

Step one was “take off your shirt.” And thus, my first experience being partially naked outdoors in front of a giant crowd of people happened and was really no big deal. Wow. The wonderful woman helping me make a purchase laced me in, tightly, and directed me to a mirror.

It was like I was looking at a completely different person in that mirror. I Was Hot. Well, that was that. I had to have it. And I had to wear it.

It was amazing to walk around in. Given the number of compliments I received, a lot of other people thought I looked hot, too. Even sweet little gay bois were telling me I looked good.

We ended up walking down Market Street to the Ferry Building (mmmm… oysters) and I was a hit there, too. One guy took my picture, more compliments, lots of looks from both men and women. Cam tells me I nearly caused an accident. Not just that the driver stopped suddenly or something but that Cam saw him looking at me and nearly hitting someone else.

I want MORE! Leather. Below the bust. Waist cincher. A whole collection of them. I also need a skirt to go along with it. I’ve seen a couple red leather ones that are nice over at Stormy, but matching reds can be a pain. So maybe just a black leather one.