Most women fight wars on two fronts, one for whatever the putative topic is and one simply for the right to speak, to have ideas, to be acknowledged to be in possession of facts and truths, to have value, to be a human being. Things have certainly gotten better, but this war won’t end in my lifetime. I’m still fighting it, for myself certainly, but also for all those younger women who have something to say, in the hope that they will get to say it.
– Rebecca Solnit. I’ve read it before, but it was linked to this morning on a blog I read. It’s a good article and one that rationally details some of the subtle sexism many women face every day.
I am a very lucky, very privileged woman. The man in my life does treat me as a human being. He fully acknowledges my personhood. Not only that he pushes me to assert myself and opinions in other situations with other people. He expects me to have opinions and assert them. And he respects them when I do. Sometimes he challenges them a bit more than I might be comfortable with, but in a way that encourages me to fight for what I believe. And, it has helped me to be more assertive in other situations with other people who might be inclined to tune me out just because I am a woman.
That’s not to say that I don’t face people who think I don’t have the right to speak or I don’t have any value. They’re always out there and they’re always a challenge. I have a lot less of it in my life than the vast majority of other women.