Rather low key here today, but neither of us have ever really felt the need to celebrate valentine’s day. And, as Cam said in the car yesterday “we’re more than a lobster dinner away from a divorce.” He did take me out for lunch today. Then I cooked us dinner. It was actually one of my better meals and I’m not a bad cook, so that’s a fairly high bar. Crepes may show up later before bed and followed by wild monkey sex.
All in all, the perfect Valentine’s day for the two of us.
While surfing channels…
The Dr. Oz Show : (02/08/10) “The Big O! How To Get Your Best Orgasm After 40!”
Me: Uh.
Cam: What?
Me: I think if they got any better I’d die.
Cam: uh. I… think that’s a … good thing?
It’s a work day for us today. We’re both involved in a project and pretty focused on getting stuff done. However, I’m sitting here wondering if we will finish early enough (and have enough energy) to go up and fool around this evening.
I’m seriously doubting that will happen. But… I organized many of the toys this weekend and they’re all handy in the new toybox. And, yeah, I’m ready to play with them.
Tonight probably isn’t going to happen. But maybe we’ll get to bed early enough I can give Cam a nice, relaxing backrub.
Sometime in the first few days of the new year, we spent an evening soaking in a hot tub together. We randomly talked about stuff, including goals and “resolutions” for the new year. One thing we decided was that we needed to spend more time actually with each other. Not spending the evening playing games or blogging or whatever but actually shut laptops down and watch a movie or have wild monkey sex or both.
We’ve actually managed a date night a week this month. A nice meal is first on the schedule, tonight was a classic steak dinner. We started with cocktails (martini for him, rum and lime for me) and then potatoes,green beans, new york strip steak with a mushroom / onion sauce.
Cam is still in the depths of code push, but I am hopeful that he’ll come to bed early enough that I can jump his bones.
This is a resolution I don’t see either of us giving up any time soon.
Most women fight wars on two fronts, one for whatever the putative topic is and one simply for the right to speak, to have ideas, to be acknowledged to be in possession of facts and truths, to have value, to be a human being. Things have certainly gotten better, but this war won’t end in my lifetime. I’m still fighting it, for myself certainly, but also for all those younger women who have something to say, in the hope that they will get to say it.
– Rebecca Solnit. I’ve read it before, but it was linked to this morning on a blog I read. It’s a good article and one that rationally details some of the subtle sexism many women face every day.
I am a very lucky, very privileged woman. The man in my life does treat me as a human being. He fully acknowledges my personhood. Not only that he pushes me to assert myself and opinions in other situations with other people. He expects me to have opinions and assert them. And he respects them when I do. Sometimes he challenges them a bit more than I might be comfortable with, but in a way that encourages me to fight for what I believe. And, it has helped me to be more assertive in other situations with other people who might be inclined to tune me out just because I am a woman.
That’s not to say that I don’t face people who think I don’t have the right to speak or I don’t have any value. They’re always out there and they’re always a challenge. I have a lot less of it in my life than the vast majority of other women.
Stress is the order of the day here. Mostly work related but we’ve both been barely keeping our heads above water at work and that’s bled over into late nights working and stressing about things.
I’m thinking of getting a new skirt, though. http://www.madame-s.com/WL206.html
We even have a credit there from the purchase of our bed.
*pondering*
then dressed up in a pretty skirt and lacy shirt.
Having problems concentrating.
I’ve been thinking a lot about safe spaces. And I can’t help thinking about my experience at Folsom St. Fair this year.
The fair itself felt like an amazingly safe space. Sure, there was lots of skin even to the point of completely naked people walking around on leashes. In the midst of all this obvious sexuality and exhibitionism the most common thing I overheard was people asking for permission to touch, or even take pictures.
This is so different than most places. In many places the assumption is that touch is welcome unless it is explicitly negated. At Folsom, the assumption is that touch is unwelcome unless it’s explicitly permitted.
In fact, walking down Market street in my new corset was much braver than getting into the corset at the fair. At the fair, I was just another person on exhibit. But I was secure that no one would touch, without my (or Cam’s) permission. On Market, no one would touch but the looks were … different. I was very grateful for a protective male next to me.
A few months ago there was a ‘lifestyle’ article at CNN that listed a number of drawbacks to being married that no one ever tells you. I won’t mention that clearly people DO tell you as it was on Oprah.com and linked to from the front page of CNN. Hard to pretend those are secrets, y’know?
One of the bad things was: this is the person you’re going to wake up next to for the rest of your life.
Wait, WHAT? This is a drawback? I absolutely adore waking up next to Cam every day. Really.
I’ve come up with my own list of things they don’t tell you about being married.
Continue reading Things they don’t tell you about being married »
Our catalog from the Stockroom arrived recently. The mailing envelope was plain brown paper. Inside the envelope was another, white, envelope. This envelope explained they were sorry for wasting paper, but that they were required by law to have a “Adult content” warning. They also didn’t want to embarrass customers, so they used the 2 envelopes. In addition to the warning, they offered a $5.00 off coupon, too.
Nifty marketing, I thought.
New toys are always fun. I need to organize our current toys before we can buy more, though. Maybe that will be today’s project.