That voice

  • Posted on April 6, 2010 at 9:59 am

It’s been a hard few weeks for me. There’s a loud voice in my head that tells me it’s all my fault. If I would just get my ass in gear and get my shit together I wouldn’t be feeling so overwhelmed. But the reality is that I’m overwhelmed and flailing and feel like my brain is conspiring against me. I can’t focus, I have so many tasks that need to be done and can’t get started because … I don’t know where to start.

Then there’s the procrastination, like this post.

A few minutes ago I actually tried to relax, let it go and try and find a center. All that resulted in was being asked “are you OK?” I feel like I’m holding it together by sheer act of will and stubbornness. What I really want is to climb into a hole and not come out for a month.

Here’s where I put the post away and grab the todo list and pick one thing off it to do.

Chin up. Not a failure. Still not king.

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