I’m one of those fat chicks. I’ve been fat since I was a pre-teen. When I was in my late teens I made an informed decision that I was not going to diet. I may, at some point in my life, decide I wanted to lose weight, but I would only make those changes I could maintain for ever. I wasn’t going to do a short term diet, and yo-yo around.
For the most part, I’ve managed that. I’ve generally eaten a fairly good diet, and tried to incorporate exercise into my daily life. Working on large, sprawling campuses and taking public transportation to work helped me “exercise” without ever going to the gym.
Age and a career change resulted in a 15 – 20 pound weight gain over the last decade or so. I also lost a lot of muscle and strength. I was kinda OK with this. I mean, I had to be OK with it. It was my body and I’m not going to get another one so I can either be comfortable in my skin (by sheer force of will) or I can hate myself. Hating myself seemed like an awful lot of work and not much fun. I didn’t quite like my new body, but I didn’t hate it enough to do anything about it.
All of this is kinda my round about way to say I’ve been what some might consider a member of the fat acceptance movement since before there was a fat acceptance movement. My body is not conventional nor is it beautiful. But it is what it is and I can either pour a lot of money and time into conforming to beauty, or I can just accept I will never be beautiful or acceptable and actually pour my time and money into being the best Fiona I could be.
A few years ago, I decided to add a little more movement into my life. Short walks around the local park. No real goal other than get out and move for 20 minutes. Gradually I improved my stamina and speed. I also started counting calories. I wasn’t restricting as much as measuring. But, while eating 1600 – 1800 calories a day and walking a few times a week I managed to lose a little more than 15 pounds over the course of a year.
I don’t want to diet, because I just don’t. But we’ve gradually made changes to our overall nutritional intake (more veggies, less meat) that make it reasonably easy to maintain this weight loss. I stopped walking over the winter because it’s cold and miserable. I started again this spring, though, and have almost returned to my fitness level.
There are some interesting changes from all this. One, I have a much better feel for my fitness and body. Two, my hypoglycemia has returned with a vengeance. For a while I wasn’t having hypoglycemic episodes very frequently and could predict them. Now I’m much more likely to crash. I don’t like it, but it does mean my blood sugar levels are lower so I cope. Third, shopping isn’t a chore anymore. I can actually fit into a standard size 14 now, which means some subset of off the rack clothes fit and I can look nice. Fourth, people can suck it if they think I’m too fat to bare my arms. This is one part of my life where I’m average.
One of the important parts of my journey to health has been taking my mental health into account. I haven’t been beating myself up for not exercising 5 times a week, or for having a cookie or a piece of cake. I have been trying to eat mindfully and listen to my body and not mindlessly follow dieting “rules” (8 cups of water a day, no coffee, no sugar, no real butter, no cheese…). Food substitutes are not food, so I’m focusing on eating good, tasty, satisfying foods instead of lots of “diet food.”
A rather long introduction about my own life because I want to talk about obesity and healthy and dieting.