Why am I blogging here?

  • Posted on February 6, 2010 at 9:48 pm

That’s a question I keep asking myself. What is this blog for? What do I want to talk about? Who is my audience?

I don’t have many answers to any of the questions, which is why I think I abandoned the blog for months last year.

Right now, I’m trying to find my way. I don’t talk well about sex at all. Want to watch Fiona vapor lock? Ask her “what do you want?” in the middle of sex. On one level I’m hoping that writing about sex and what I like I’ll work through that difficulty talking about sex. I’m hoping I’ll find my voice and see the path I need to take with it.

On one level I know I have like zero readers and this is nothing different than writing on my own machine. On the other… eh. If I find my voice then there’s history for any readers who may show up. It’s also a good place to comment on other posts I see online (like the g-spot study).

Besides, the discipline of writing, even random writing, is good for someone like me who hates to write. Having a place to call my own and write whatever I want is good.

More on the bad G-spot study

  • Posted on February 3, 2010 at 10:23 am

Thoughtful Animal has more on the G-spot study, including responses from “angry French gynecologists”.  Dispatches from the culture war also blogged about it. The comments on Ed’s post are comedy gold, so do take a moment to read them.

The last train to clarksville…

  • Posted on February 2, 2010 at 10:00 pm

Cam and I were fooling around last night. I was having problems, though, as my brain just would Not Stop. At one point there were 4 different tracks going through my head: what I needed to do to be a good bedmate, the Monkees’ song “the last train to clarksville,” what I needed to do at work today and the meta thoughts about how my brain wouldn’t stop.

It happens sometimes, usually when I’m stressed. I hate it. Hate Hate Hate it! I just can’t relax and enjoy things. Foreplay is distracting, not exciting. Of course, the longer it goes on, the more worked up I get and the more worked up I get the more thought threads spawn. Eventually, my brain explodes.

It’s not even like this is related to sex with Cam, I’ve tried masturbating recently and my brain goes through the same cycle. Annoying enough that I just give up, it’s not fun, it’s not exciting and it makes me feel bad.

On the good end, I’m a lot less inclined to give up. This is a good thing. A little vibe, a little fucking and the Monkees faded away.

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Working Sunday

  • Posted on January 31, 2010 at 5:16 pm

It’s a work day for us today. We’re both involved in a project and pretty focused on getting stuff done. However, I’m sitting here wondering if we will finish early enough (and have enough energy) to go up and fool around this evening.

I’m seriously doubting that will happen. But… I organized many of the toys this weekend and they’re all handy in the new toybox. And, yeah, I’m ready to play with them.

Tonight probably isn’t going to happen. But maybe we’ll get to bed early enough I can give Cam a nice, relaxing backrub.

New Year’s resolutions

  • Posted on January 28, 2010 at 8:48 pm

Sometime in the first few days of the new year, we spent an evening soaking in a hot tub together. We randomly talked about stuff, including goals and “resolutions” for the new year. One thing we decided was that we needed to spend more time actually with each other. Not spending the evening playing games or blogging or whatever but actually shut laptops down and watch a movie or have wild monkey sex or both.

We’ve actually managed a date night a week this month. A nice meal is first on the schedule, tonight was a classic steak dinner. We started with cocktails (martini for him, rum and lime for me) and then potatoes,green beans, new york strip steak with a mushroom / onion sauce.

Cam is still in the depths of code push, but I am hopeful that he’ll come to bed early enough that I can jump his bones.

This is a resolution I don’t see either of us giving up any time soon.

Late nights

  • Posted on January 27, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Cam has a release date coming up, which means he’s coding late into the night. Last night he got to bed around 1 or so. I was awake when he showed up and we cuddled for a while. It was nice and relaxing. Then I decided I wanted more than a cuddle.

Middle of the night sex is good. When the phone rang at 6:30 this morning I semi-regretted 2 am sex. But only semi.

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Those little turnons

  • Posted on January 20, 2010 at 10:21 pm

We were curled up spooning in bed last night. My ass pressed tightly into his hard cock. It was nice and warm and comforting, but I wasn’t feeling very hot. I loved the contact, and the cuddling. Then he reached out and encircled my wrists with his hands. That caused my cunt to immediately twitch.

Well.

I’ve been fascinated by bondage and sexual submission for as long as I can remember even thinking about sex.  I suspect those stories are for blog posts another day.

Women being heard

  • Posted on January 18, 2010 at 11:03 am

Most women fight wars on two fronts, one for whatever the putative topic is and one simply for the right to speak, to have ideas, to be acknowledged to be in possession of facts and truths, to have value, to be a human being. Things have certainly gotten better, but this war won’t end in my lifetime. I’m still fighting it, for myself certainly, but also for all those younger women who have something to say, in the hope that they will get to say it.

Rebecca Solnit. I’ve read it before, but it was linked to this morning on a blog I read. It’s a good article and one that rationally details some of the subtle sexism many women face every day.

I am a very lucky, very privileged woman. The man in my life does treat me as a human being. He fully acknowledges my personhood. Not only that he pushes me to assert myself and opinions in other situations with other people. He expects me to have opinions and assert them. And he respects them when I do. Sometimes he challenges them a bit more than I might be comfortable with, but in a way that encourages me to fight for what I believe. And, it has helped me to be more assertive in other situations with other people who might be inclined to tune me out just because I am a woman.

That’s not to say that I don’t face people who think I don’t have the right to speak or I don’t have any value. They’re always out there and they’re always a challenge. I have a lot less of it in my life than the vast majority of other women.

No G-spot? Really?

  • Posted on January 15, 2010 at 9:10 pm

Earlier this month there was an article published in on the BBC website reporting about a twin study looking at the existence of the G-spot. According to the BBC and the researchers, there is no such thing.

The King’s College London team believe the G-spot may be a figment of women’s imagination, encouraged by magazines and sex therapists.

All I have to say is if this is a figment, it’s quite a lovely feeling figment.

The problems with the study were documented by SciCurious who actually dug up the reference. The paper in question hasn’t been published, yet. Sci did mention a number of problems with the article.

  1. The study group was older women (55+). This age group has two issues that may bias the results: menopause, which changes hormones and sexual response and cultural issues that mean they may never have looked for a g-spot and not know if they have one or not.
  2. Only heterosexual women were included in the study.
  3. The researchers never defined “g-spot” they just asked if the women believed they had one.

I’m not a sociologist but even I know you need to define your terms when asking questions of people. Srsly! Not rocket science!

For myself, there’s clearly an area on the anterior wall of my vagina that feels very very good when properly stimulated. So good I can orgasm from it. In fact, Cam will often finger that spot while I masturbate and then … Wow. Fireworks.

Just an anecdote, but it’s pretty clear to me that on my own body there is something there. Whether it’s a figment or training or anatomical, I can say that the researchers don’t know shit about me and I will continue to believe in my own g-spot.

On the flip side, the BBC article mentions that some women (and men even) may feel pressured by the popular portrayal of the g-spot.

It is rather irresponsible to claim the existence of an entity that has never been proven and pressurise women and men too.

That I can believe. Even believing I have a g-spot I usually need some sort of clitoral stimulation to orgasm. My primary partner wants me to orgasm and if that means a bit of vibration or me playing with myself or him rubbing my clit while we’re fucking, that’s fine by him. OTOH, he’s pretty special and I know that some guys expect their women to come just from the mystical power of their penis. Yeah, not so much.

In the grand scheme of things, this study isn’t the definitive one, there are too many design flaws for anyone to draw any real conclusions from it. Plus, at least 50% of the women interviewed do believe they have a g-spot. That’s a pretty high percentage of women believing in a figment.

A new year…

  • Posted on January 1, 2010 at 5:38 pm

One of my resolutions this year is to blog more frequently here on vibratinggeek. That does mean getting more in touch with the vibrating, sexy side of myself, and that can’t be bad (or unappreciated by the geek in my life).

Starting off the new year right…

It’s been cold and damp and a bit frozen here where we are spending our holiday. We’ve been holed up inside, with a nearby (but outdoor) hot tub. Cam tells me I get very frisky when my core temperature goes up.

It’s fun. lots of necking in the hot tub, in front of the TV, on the floor, in bed. Just spending time with him, enjoying each other. Last night we had a very hot make out session on the couch.  Fingers and lips and naked bodies all tangled up.

Once I finish this off, I’m going to head out to the hot tub and see if getting my core temp up again leads to another night of wild monkey sex.